Are you an adult yet? I used to ask this of my son after each milestone he met. He bought his first car. He worked his way through college.  He married his girlfriend. Are you an adult yet? He would always answer, Not yet.

Photo: Steve Bomar Photography

What marks adulthood? Getting a tattoo? Getting a job? Not getting carded?

According to Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, a research psychologist from Clark University,  adulthood doesn’t begin at 18 when you can go into combat or even 21 when you can buy a beer. Arnett, coined the term emerging adulthood to describe that period in life when you are no longer an adolescent but you don’t have adult commitments and responsibilities. Somewhere between 18-25 and sometimes extending until age 29, emerging adults explore and experiment with work, love and worldviews.

This period in life is characterized with feeling in between, instability, being self-focused, identity exploration and possibilities.

Photo: Steve Bomar Photography

It is a time of feeling in between, no longer an adolescent but not yet an adult. Historically, landing that first job right out of high school outlined your career path.  Because of the complexity of skills required to be competitive in today’s job market, emerging adults must acquire more training and education.  Adulthood is delayed while the 18-25 year old acquires training and education and work experience.

Instability is best seen in the emerging adult’s place of residence, moving back in with parents, moving back into the dorm, moving in with roommates, moving into an apartment of your own

Being self-focused doesn’t mean being selfish.   The simple fact that you don’t live at home, most of your decisions are around you. What will you eat? When will you eat? What do you want to study? Which courses do you want to take next semester? In making these self-focused decisions, the emerging adult is discovering their identity.

Emerging adulthood is a period in life where you explore and experiment. College students experiment with ideas, values and beliefs. It’s like trying on a pair of shoes to decide whether you really like them. Historically college was reserved for the elite. Today, every high -schooler is encouraged to attend college. In college students are required to take a variety of courses. It is common for college students to change majors three times before graduation. It becomes a time to decide what you think,  believe and value.

Surveys tell us that emerging adults consider themselves adults when their lives include three characteristics.

• Accept responsibility for yourself
• Make independent decisions
• Become financially independent

Emerging adults say that as an adult you must come to grips with the consequences of your choices. There is little room for blaming the professor or other adults. An adult accepts the outcome of the decision to not get out of bed and be late for class. Whatever the decision is, it is the decision you made. You make your own decisions based on your own preferences and resources. Becoming financially independent means having the resources to  pay for your own living expenses and for those choices.

The 20-something-year-old uses their second decade to explore their life possibilities prior to embracing the responsibilities and commitments of adulthood.

Photo: Steve Bomar Photography