Inner Critic – Part Three
Over the summer, I enrolled in a Dissertation Coaching class which is part of my ICF coaching certification process. I am writing a blog series on issues that I faced as a doctoral student and the wonderful things I am gaining in my dissertation coaching class.
What is the Inner Critic?
During my doctoral journey, my inner critic sounded like this.
“You aren’t smart enough.”
“Your writing will never be good enough.”
“You should have finished this years, ago.”
“Your research is unimportant.”
“No one cares about your topic.”
Everyone has an inner critic, unlike your conscience, your inner critic will degrade you, punish you and lead you to make unhealthy choices. This critical voice tends to increase our feelings of self-hatred. And leads you to a place of paralysis.
Is your inner critic preventing you from completing your dissertation?
Psych Alive explains the inner critic as
The critical inner voice is a well-integrated pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others. The nagging voices, or thoughts, that make up this internalized dialogue are at the root of much of our self-destructive and maladaptive behavior.
How do you banish your inner critic?
Gayle Scroggs, Ph.D. Editor of the ABD Survival Guide offers this five step process to kick your inner critic out of your head.
How to get rid of your inner critic?
How to Disable Your Inner Critic in Five Easy Steps
How much valuable mental real estate gets occupied by your inner critic? For in-the-moment relief, try this simple mindfulness meditation based on Mark Bertin’s recommendations in Mindful:
- When you hear an inner criticism, consider what you’d do if someone else said it. (“Gotta go now.”)
- Notice it without debating it while you pause to breathe.
- Breathe in. Acknowledge any emotions without analyzing or resisting. (“Right now I feel frustrated”.)
- Breathe out, letting go. See the experience for what it is, then shift your focus to something more useful without self-judgment.
- Offer yourself compassion. Visualize being at ease with each exhalation.
Self-coaching tip: For a bigger boost, name your inner critic. Now notice when “Downer Dan” or “Nagging Nancy” shows up”greeting him or her by name: “Oh, there you go again!”
How did I tame my inner critic?
Years of classroom experience gave me the skills to manage a room full or a bus full of rowdy sixth graders. I could walk down the hall or into a class room and with
I tamed my inner critic by imagining me driving a school bus.
a narrowing of my eyes, I could correct unruly behavior. That’s confidence. To tame my inner critic, I imagined myself driving my full-of-life sixth graders to the museum. That noisy bunch represented my inner critic and all the negative criticism I was hearing while working on my dissertation. They would yell out, “Mrs. Bomar, You’re going the wrong way. I know a shortcut to the museum!” In my mind, I would respond, “Thank you. Now, bottoms on your chair, feet on the floor, hands to yourself.” Then I would put both hands on the steering wheel and drive the bus.
Your own coach:
If you are considering whether to get your own coach to help you reach your academic goals, contact me for a free 30-minute consultation.